


five golden rings (but phil wants one)

by kishere



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Family, M/M, holiday in london, home for the holidays, slight introspecton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishere/pseuds/kishere
Summary: in a story of miscommunication and surprises, phil deals with the potential of being proposed to on Christmas by thinking of anything else, but especially family and what it means.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: Phandom Writers Discord 2019 Holiday Gift Exchange





	five golden rings (but phil wants one)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starboydjh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starboydjh/gifts).



> I’d love to thank mikey for looking this over and reassuring me 20,0000x it’s okay

Phil rolled over and smiled softly at the man laying on the pillow next to his, his mouth slightly open in slumber and his neck twisted uncomfortably to accommodate Dan sleeping on his stomach. This was the tenth Christmas he was spending with Dan and it was still as exciting to Phil as the first had been. Some of their celebrations may have happened while they were visiting their families or, in some of the early years before mum and dad had moved to the Isle of Man, Dan and Phil would spend a few hours together before Dan took a train south and Phil would take a bus home from the Manchester apartment.

( _ The house in Rawtenstall would always be home to Phil. It was the place he had scraped his knees and met Ian and the rest of the Kool Katz and had the doors that would squeak occasionally and the heaters coming up through the floorboards that he would sit on top of when he was younger and so many other thousands of stories that only his family and Dan knew all of. So while the Isle of Man was nice and had mum and dad there, it never gave Phil the same sense of home. Dan complained constantly this is why it was impossible to find their forever home and wouldn’t be surprised if one day he woke up to the news that the poor family living in Phil’s old house had been murdered by Phil himself. Phil wanted to tell Dan that he was Phil’s forever home, but he had to save something for the wedding vows...you know, after he proposed with the ring he’s been holding on to for three years. _ ) 

Phil pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead before turning and getting out of bed. Martyn and Cornelia had decided to stay over  _ even though they had their own perfectly fine flat _ and Phil figured he should be a good host and get coffee and brekkie started for everyone. After stopping bye Norman’s tank and talking to him for a few minutes, please by a bubble blown back at him, Phil continued his quest.The kitchen smelled of cooking meat and when he peeked into the oven, he saw the huge turkey they had all chipped in for in the oven. 

Martyn had insisted that this year they make a big dinner for all of them instead of just ordering from Dominos or a takeaway turkey dinner. Dan and Cornelia had spent a lot of last night in the kitchen, drinking wine and reading the recipes loud enough to carry into the living room next door and asking Martyn (arguably the best cook out of the four of them) what certain words meant, even though they had sworn up and down they could handle this on their own. Phil gave in to join them in there around ten, after Martyn beat him at Snap for the fifth time in a row, and let Dan lean against him, drunk and unashamed here in their own bubble. Phil had felt sad, watching them create an amazing Christmas dinner, sending a few sparse pictures to his mum as to not wake her up. Unfortunately, his parents weren’t coming this year and Phil needed to stay in town since he had a meeting with the BBC early on the 27th about a potential project. So while it had felt like Christmas Eve, surrounded by three of his favorite people, he could still feel the absence of both of his parents. His dad wasn’t sitting quietly in the corner sketching or joining with his mom as she sang Christmas carols. There wasn’t any teasing about how none of them had given her grandbabies (“No Philip Michael, Norman doesn’t count”) or his dad roaring victoriously as he won a board game in the tournament. He could admit that as the younger sibling, he was still “the baby” of the family (even with some cousins who were younger than him). 

He shook his head before gathering what he needed from the fridge: eggs, butter, the last few bits of bacon, and a few tomatoes. He grabbed a few cans of beans from the cupboard and pulled out the bread from the breadbox. He had barely started the coffee pot when Cornelia came skulking into the kitchen and sat on the countertop next to the coffee machine, as though her mere presence would have it hurry up. Cornelia didn’t say anything but occasionally hummed a Christmas song as she stared at the coffee machine. Phil was glad Cornelia wasn’t a morning person, unlike Martyn who was uncharacteristically asleep. 

“Who put the turkey in,” Phil finally asked as he watched Cornelia savor a sip of coffee. 

“Martyn,” Cornelia said, her voice a little gruff for her. “He woke up around five and put it in, stepped on me like fifteen times to climb back against the wall, and then went back to sleep.”

“Kill him,” Phil joked, turning away from the eggs he was stirring. “Can you pour me a cup of coffee?”

“Gimme a mo’,” Cornelia said before taking a big sip of her own coffee, wincing at the heat. Phil didn’t understand how she could drink it straight black, but Cornelia explained that was how she drank it on fikas ( _ coffee breaks, she corrected herself, but Phil remembered because the word had been so cute _ ) when she had worked in Sweden because of the time restraints and “besides Phil, it wasn’t brewed very strong anyway”. Phil savored the cup, after dumping some coconut milk creamer that Dan had picked up the last time he had done the shopping and sugar into it.

He went back to cooking, Cornelia and him occasionally talking about Cornelia’s next upcoming show and Phil about his meeting with the BBC. Breakfast was almost ready when Martyn finally appeared, Dan following behind him at a much more subdued pace, his face buried into his phone. Phil figured Boris Johnson had said something stupid and Dan was now following up on it, a near daily occurance in their home lately as Brexit deadlines came and went and new policies were introduced. Phil pulled Dan in as he walked by, giving him a tight hug ( _ and how gone were the days where Phil could tuck Dan’s head under his with ease instead of being a whole inch shorter _ ).

“Happy Christmas love,” Phil said, releasing Dan after a moment. “I cut you extra tomatoes.”

“Ah, you remembered,” Dan said, high and teasing like they hadn’t lived together for nine years. “Thank for the fry up.”

Dan pecked Phil’s cheek and started serving a plate, presenting it to Phil when he was done with a smile. Phil tried not to let his heart utterly melt like he was a cartoon at the simple gesture; Dan had done sweeter things in their life together but it was always small gestures like this that made Phil remember that this was the man he was going to spend this forever (and probably every forever, in every universe) with. God, Dan would be bent in half laughing if he knew how sappy Phil had been this morning, but also understand because Phil always got roughly ten times more sentimental around the holidays. 

They all sat around the table, chatting about this and that (Dan and Cornelia scolding them when Phil tried to ask Martyn a question about IRL Merch because _ for shame boys _ ) when Dan pulled Martyn into the hallway for something while they were doing the washing up. Phil did his best to eavesdrop because Dan getting all private? With Martyn? On Christmas morning? That meant there was probably a huge surprise in store for Phil. But he was unable to eavesdrop well since Cornelia distracted him by splashing him with water.

What was the surprise though? Was it a dog? They had just gotten used to Norman but Phil was feeling confident that they could handle an older dog who had been very well trained. They’d have to get her (Phil had already named her Lady in his mind) a bed, a leash, a collar, a-. Oh, what if it was  _ a ring _ ? Sure, they have been together for ten years but Phil had always assumed he would be the one to propose if anything, especially since he had been sitting on a ring in a security box for nearly three years. 

Phil felt like he was going to faint or vomit with excitement. 

Dan was going to propose on his favorite holiday ever, besides his birthday, and Phil was still wearing emoji pajamas. Had he even brushed his teeth yet? No, he remembered after a moment, because he wanted to drink orange juice for breakfast and didn’t want the after taste. Phil felt another pang that his parents weren’t going to be there to witness this, but he hoped this meant he’d be able to see them at the engagement party. Phil kept getting himself turned in knots when Dan and Martyn reappeared, his brother suddenly looking apprehensive. 

“Hey, we need to hold off on presents for a little bit,” Martyn said, not making eye contact with Phil and seemed to be having a silent conversation with Cornelia.

“Okay,” Cornelia said with a shrug after looking between Martyn and Phil.

Phil pursed his lips and looked over at Dan who was staring at his phone. When Dan peeked up from his phone he stuck his tongue out at Phil, who returned the gesture easily but inside, his thoughts were swirling. 

Did everybody know about  _ this _ but him? Dan and him hadn’t had a conversation about them getting married in almost a year and suddenly everyone was in on Dan’s Christmas Proposal Extravaganza!? It felt a little unfair, but Phil stretched and looked around the room.

“I get dibs on the warm water,” Phil announced as he prepared to leave the kitchen, deciding that a warm shower might calm his sudden nerves. 

“Try not to use all of it again,” Dan said, not looking up from texting furiously on his phone,” I still remember last week’s betrayal.”

“I said I was sorry,” Phil replied, remembering how Dan had started to yelp about half-way through the shower since the flat’s pipes sometimes got too cold during the winter months. Phil couldn’t wait for them to find the perfect forever home, one with toasty pipes and a dog.

“Top five anime betrayals,” Cornelia quipped, causing Dan to let out one of his obnoxiously loud snorts. Phil finally left the kitchen and heard Martyn, Cronelia, and Dan start whispering; he didn’t stick around to eavesdrop even though everything in his soul right now wanted to. 

He wasn’t disappointed when a few minutes into the shower, the heat of the shower water managed to wash away nearly 90% of his anxiety. Because when he thought about it, this is what they’ve wanted for years; getting married was a goal they were working towards and posting their coming out videos earlier in the year was just one more step towards that. That reassurance didn’t stop the other ten percent of his brain from making fire alarm noises however so just when he would get himself calmed down, his brain would kick up some scenario where Dan proposed and he accidentally said no. Or had a moment his body ignored his brain and like… flailed and knocked Dan out on accident. 

If his body ignoring his brain happened, he hoped he knocked himself out instead.

He spent so long in the shower that he felt guilty getting out, the water lukewarm. He buried himself under his three towels and walked into the connected bedroom. It was moments like this that Phil felt like an NPC and he heard some generic walking around music from Breath of the Wild play quietly in the back of his mind as he stood in the middle of the room. He looked between the wardrobe and the dresser, unsure if he wanted to put on something cozy like trackies or jeans. Maybe he could lay in bed and see what Dan put on later to determine how formal this was going to be? 

No, Phil thought with a shake of his head, slightly dislodging the towel wrapped around his hair.This was Christmas morning and he wanted to be comfortable. He didn’t care much about what he was wearing any other day of the year (movie premieres and interviews aside), so why should he get dressed up for this? Phil nodded his head definitively but found his newest (and therefore least holey) trackies in the drawer and slid those on along with one of Dan’s one pink shirt. Sure, it was more or less his by this point from the amount they shared it, but Phil loved the warmth in his chest at the idea of wearing his boyfriend’s clothing; sue him for being ten years in and still being excited about the little things. 

He crept out of the bedroom and heard the guest shower going. He quieted his steps to try and sneak up on Dan who was sitting on the couch, talking on the phone. 

“I know Nana, sorry I couldn’t make it this year but I’m still coming down tomorrow for Boxing Day,” Dan said, his tone reassuring as he picked at one of his fingernails. The polish on them was starting to chip. “Yes Nana, I’m going to eat properly, I think we all know I’m going to eat. We made a lot of vegan sides this year and I was going to bring some for Adrian.”

Phil realized as he listened, with a slight start, that this was the first year neither of them were going to see their parents for the holidays. Usually they went their separate ways for Christmas, back to their own families for a bit. Even when Dan had been on the outs with his parents, he still spent Christmas with his mom every year. It was with that thought that Phil pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead before padding back to the bedroom to call his own parents. It was already nine and his mom had probably been on her morning walk by now. He sat on the bed and hit ‘Mom’ under his recent contacts.

The phone went immediately to voicemail.

Phil felt his face crinkle and decided to try his dad’s phone next. His mom wasn’t always the most religious about charging her phone, so this occured more often than not anyway. The only difference is his dad’s went immediately to voicemail as well. Phil tried not to panic. His parents are proper adults and the Isle of Man didn’t have the most reliable cellphone service. He frowned but shoved his phone into his pocket and walked back out to the living room where Dan was finishing up a conversation with his nan. Phil got cozy on the couch, opening up a game on his phone. 

“Love you too Nana,” Dan said, a smile playing at the edge of his face that Phil wanted to kiss. Or maybe it was Dereck the Dimple he wanted to kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Yes Nana, I’ll bring the headphones. Okay. I’ll tell Phil hello for you. Love you.”

Dan hung up the phone and sighed dramatically, tilting himself sideways into Phil’s lap.

“I think my nan is using me as a technology mule,” Dan said quietly, his face looking deathly serious except for the slight uptick of his mouth on one side. 

“Obviously,” Phil said, the fondness obvious to his own ears. “No one would ever suspect you of doing it. It’s the perfect crime.”

Dan hummed a song from Mission Impossible which made Phil snort as Dan took his time getting more comfortable using Phil as a pillow. It was moments like this, stuck in their own domestic bubble that Phil was positive he was going to spend the rest of his life with Dan and would definitely being saying yes later when Dan proposed.

“She also told me to tell my “nice young fella” hello from her,” Dan said, looking up at Phil with an eyeroll

“I’m nice,” Phil argued as Dan snorted at him.

“Yeah, you’re just as old as dirt you dinosaur,” Dan teased. 

Phil dropped a hand on Dan’s face and plugged his nose for a few seconds before letting go, laughing at Dan as he whined nasally. “Brat.”

“Grandpa.”

“More like daddy.”

“Dad-dy,” Dan teased, his American accent horrendous. 

“Please let me never hear that again,” Martyn exclaimed as he walked into the room. “I never, ever, evereverever want to hear your foreplay ever again.”

Phil faked a moan which had Martyn stroll over and push him sideways, Dan whining at being marginally dislodged. Phil was laughing as Martyn took a seat on the floor across from the couch, his face still contorted in disgust. 

“Look mate,” Phil started, sitting up properly, his hand reaching down almost unconsciously to run his fingers through Dan’s hair. “If I had to hear you and Sarah Michaels-.”

Martyn threw his hands up.”For the last time, I thought no one was home!”

“- I think you can handle some light teasing,” Phil finished, his hand still roaming through Dan’s curls. “Besides, I’m pretty sure she called you da-.”

“Shush,” Martyn said, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I will let you open every present under that tree, if you end my misery.”

“Poetic,” Dan said, his voice gone a little rough in relaxation. 

“Thanks,” Martyn drawled.

Phil hummed, sinking back into the couch as Martyn and Dan started to debate whether or not something rhyming with truly poetic or if it was simply rhyming. Cornelia came out after a few minutes, her normal curls looking barely managed but that was probably because they were wet; Dan’s hair always looked a little more controlled right after he got out of a shower too. 

“Hey Phil,” Cornelia started as she got comfortable on the floor, “we were talking early and we thought it would be fun to play a few games this morning before opening presents. Whatcha got?”

Phil narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the two sitting across from him. His family never wanted to play board games. They would do Pictionary or Scrabble, but it was rare they ever truly enjoyed the other games that Phil brought home for Christmas (or any visits really). If he ever wanted to get a board game fix, it usually involved setting up a day to go see PJ or any of his friends really. What was everyone up to? Like it felt like a trap, but Phil couldn’t say for what for the life of him. 

“I...think we still have Charades down-.”

“No,” Dan said immediately and decisively. “I can’t play that with you, I’m sorry. Gamingmas murdered that game for us.”

“What you’re saying is we have the opportunity to win,” Cornelia asked, his eyes blazing with the competitive spirit that Phil recognized from other game nights. This is why Cornelia was his favorite; she would actually get excited about board games. 

“Or witness a homo-cide,” Dan clarified as Phil failed to hide his grin at the joke, remembering the two times that had played Charades together for the gaming channel.

“I want to play,” Cornelia said. 

Martyn was quiet, but Phil could see he was wrapped up in his phone, not paying attention to the debate. 

“I say Charades too, it was fun even with the bad acting,” Phil finally broke in. Phil could see Dan’s hesitation and pressed harder. “ Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-.” Phil stopped as Dan placed a hand over his mouth.

“Alright, alright, just stop whatever you were doing with your mouth,” Dan sighed with defeat as Cornelia and (a muffled) Phil cheered. 

At least an hour, closer to two, passed playing charades before everyone seemed to be getting bored, especially after a memorable moment when Martyn yelled at Phil (his teammate) about his interpretation of  _ Star Wars  _ looking more like Baby Shark. Phil felt glad though, knowing they still beat Cornelia and Dan by two points.

“I’m telling you guys, that sayings category should be deleted,” Dan muttered, just loud enough for everyone to know he was pouting. 

“You did your best Danny Boy,” Phil said, patting him on the knee, letting out an “ _ oof _ ” as Dan elbowed him in the side. “What was that for? I was consoling you!”

“You’re being a sore winner is what you are doing,” Cornelia said, biting the edge of one of her nails. “The worst.”

“Actually, I’m...we’re,” Phil said pointing between himself and Martyn,”the best. Lester brother powers activated.”

“I’m transforming into The Hulk; looks like you’re the bucket of water,” Marytn drawled with a grin as a knock sounded on the apartment door. “Bucket of water, your door is thumping.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil said as he looked over at Dan who was more embarrassingly dressed in Phil’s Star Wars pants and his black Santa sweater. Phil grumbled but got up to go answer the door.

“Have to do everything around here,” Phil called out dramatically, getting back three answering whining noises. Phil opened the door and felt his jaw nearly drop, because standing in front of him was both his mom and dad. 

“Mom,” Phil whispered, feeling the smile on his face grow. “Dad?”

“Hello child,” his mom enthused, stepping forward to envelop him in a hug.

“Surprised,” his dad asked, joining in on the hug, a little stiff, but still there. 

“I thought you guys were too busy this week,” Phil said, his voice sounding faint.

“Nope. Your Dan,” his mom started, causing Phil’s chest to go warm,”called us and wanted to surprise you this year with a Christmas here in London. He even bought our tickets to fly out.”

Martyn chose that moment to saunter up to the front door. 

“Hello mum,” Martyn said, leaning over Phil’s shoulder to press a kiss to her cheek. “Hey dad. Did you guys check into the hotel okay?”

It clicked.

“This is what you were whispering about this morning! All hush hush like,” Phil exclaimed, pointing at his brother’s chest. 

Martyn shrugged, a smirk on his stupid (look he could say that, it was his brother) face. “Guilty as charged.”

Phil felt both relief and a bit of disappointment settle on him. While he was glad he finally knew the answer to the whispering and phone checking going on this morning, he was still a little disappointed that Dan wasn’t proposing. Not a huge part of him, but just enough to recognize the feeling going through him for what it was. But now wasn’t the time to unpack all those feelings, now was the time to enjoy his family that had flown all this way. Besides it was Christmas; why would he want to get engaged on Christmas?

(Probably because it would be getting engaged to  _ Dan _ and that meant so much to him, ever the romantic.)

But Phil walked lead everyone into the living room where Cornelia and Dan were waiting, probably trying to give Martyn and him time with their parents before the festivities started. Cornelia bounced up when she saw Kath while Dan got shy. Sure, they had been together for ten years and Kath knew almost immediately (Phil had a terrible poker face apperantly), but Dan still felt as though he was intruding sometimes. Phil reached out and pulled Dan in for a tight hug. 

“Thank you bear,” Phil whispered into his ear.

“You like your present,” Dan asked, his tone sounding unsure to Phil.

“I  _ love _ it,” Phil reassured him adamantly before letting go of Dan so Kath could swoop in on him from where she had been anxiously hovering a foot away.

“Thank you again Dan,” Kath said as she gave Dan a hug. Phil watched as Dan relaxed into the hug.

“Of course Kath,” Dan said, his voice warm and Phil could feel it in his chest. “It was the least I could do for all the recipes and panicked texts.”

“Don’t be modest; you did this before the panicked text messages. I’m sure the food turned out great; Cornelia sent me photos,” Kath enthused as she tugged Dan towards the kitchen. “Now show me that turkey. I don’t trust Martyn. He’s always so flighty about time. Sure Phil is a daydreamer, but at least you can put a clock by him and he’ll remember time exists.”

Dan barked out a laugh, turning and catching Phil’s eyes. He beamed at Phil before turning back to Kath who was tugging on his arm dramatically, laughing all the while. Martyn followed them into the kitchen, wanting to get in the last word edgewise and “defend my honour”. Phil stayed in the living room with his dad and Cornelia. It was a quieter group than what was going on in the kitchen, but it was no less joyous. Phil patiently waited for all of five minutes before whining that he wanted to open presents.

“Hush,” his mum shouted from the kitchen,”you’re thirty-two years old.”

“That means thirty-two presents,” Phil shouted back and ducked his head as his dad gently pushed him from the other side of the couch. It was still gratifying when about thirty minutes later, they all sat down in the living room and enjoyed their stockings (Phil was sure he was going to be sick later from all the Haribo in his stocking) and opened presents.

Phil thought he had been spoiled with his parents coming but he still had a few smaller presents from Cornelia, Martyn, and his parents. Phil apologized at least five times to his parents for not having their presents there, since he had posted them the week before. They laughed about it and said it would keep Christmas going for another week, which alleviated some of Phil’s worries about being a terrible son. Martyn got another iPod (number three) which he claimed he could fill up right then with more music. 

Dan got a voucher Phil made for adopting a dog along with a more practical gift of a Food Wars box set with a little figurine. It was hard shopping for Dan sometimes, their hobbies so intertwined that Phil always felt like he was buying himself a present too. Dan had gotten Phil some new pajama bottoms that were so soft, Phil felt like he was going to cry, (even if they weren’t patterned).

The rest of the night passed easy, with food and talking and Phil couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so content.

Content. That was the word of his year really; he was content with himself, where he was in like, who he was with (more than content but he was content in knowing they weren’t on display every minute of every day anymore), the content (hehe) he was making. He had learned how to slow down and actually enjoy a year instead of everything flashing by in an instant or behind a camera lense for the consumption for the community some cat whiskers and helium had created. But he was content this evening, sitting and talking with everyone that he loved so so so much. 

When they finally went to bed that night, later than he had been used to in the past year of self-care, spooned up in Dan’s embrace he finally admitted into the darkness of the room,”I thought you were going to propose, not fly my parents out.”

“Well maybe next year I’ll do both,” Dan mumbled against his neck, sleepy and warm. “Happy Christmas Phil.”

“Happy Christmas Dan.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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